How I stopped dieting and lost weight:

a picture of myself at 13.
I remember thinking I was the size of
an overly obsese woman. 

I started loving myself.

When maddie was born, I had a lot of fears, but one of the worst ones I had involved her experiencing the same kind of body-loathing that I went through in my youth. The kind of body-loathing that I think is becoming so prevalent today.

(50% of girls will attempt dieting before they turn eight!)

When I was a kid, I was taller than everyone in the school. By the time I was 12, I was already 5'8", and ahead of everyone. I remember thinking that I was just so incredibly fat. It wasn't until college really that I started accepting my body, but I never really developed a healthy relationship with food.

When maddie was born, I went through another period of self-loathing. Your body just changes so much during a pregnancy, and I started to just feel so uncomfortable in this body I didn't even recognize anymore.
I started trying to lose weight by diet and excercise, but I found myself only becoming more hyper-critical and gaining even more weight.
so I took a step back and gave up.

Until Maddie started eating solid food. She would only eat whatever she saw me eating. I realized at this point that it was time for me to change and have the kind of diet I would want her to have.
So, I became a vegan. (temporarily.) Babies are only allowed to eat fruits and vegetables at first, so that's all I ate. Lots and lots of produce.
I cut out all processed food, I stopped eating meat and dairy, and I learned to really love fruits and vegetables again. And something clicked in my brain - I learned to start craving the foods that make my body feel good. I learned to eat for sustenance. period.
And then I started to really enjoy my food in a way I never knew how to before.

Long story short, without even really trying, I have lost about 40 pounds - granted, a lot of that was regular pregnancy weight, but I lost two pant sizes, and I am actually currently wearing jeans I wore in high school!

Where am I at now? I eat mostly vegan, but only by choice. I eat what makes my body feel good. I never worry about limiting myself when I go out to eat, but I also never feel limited when I'm at home either.
Mainly, I'm not longer in a losing battle with my body and the food I eat. They have become my allies, not my enemies.

I don't think I'll ever really be "perfect", but I am learning how to accept my perfect humanness.

Looking back on how big my tummy was, it only makes sense that it would take some time and healthy eating to get back where I used to be.

my "after" shot.